The Palaver of Chowderheads

I’m very, very happy about the election of Barack Obama, but I’m deeply concerned about his proposal for a college football playoff.

I feel that the best team in college football should be decided the American Way — by free and fair debate among sportscasters.

Let’s face it. In these uncertain times, the American people don’t want the college football champion to be determined by some last-minute on-field heroics.

We have to remember that college football is different. What works really well for professional football, and high school football and basketball and baseball and hockey and lacrosse and soccer and curling and tennis and badminton and ping pong and track and field and rugby and swimming and water buffalo racing, couldn’t possibly work for college football.

Remember, there are a host of NCAA officials with bloated salaries and expense accounts. These men are not employable anywhere else in the economy, under any circumstances, and if there were a straightforward playoff system, they would surely be thrown onto the public dole.

Not only that. Sportscasters would be deprived of fodder for the entire year — which teams had momentum, which teams were under- or over-rated, and hundreds of other inane topics.

So let’s continue to let our college football champion be determined by the palaver of chowderheads. Isn’t that the American Way?