Polka Dots on My Feet

When you get old, you get used to brown spots and skin tags and different kinds of carbuncles and stuff like that and you don’t talk about it, because that’s really what they call oversharing.

But when I got these polka dots on my feet, I was a bit bothered because of the pattern, which was the same on both feet. It seemed a little more sinister than that other stuff because it was, like, organized.

My primary caregiver ordered a battery of tests, and an ad hoc medical team has been working on the problem. One crackpot theory is that it has something to do with the shoes I’ve been wearing in the hot sun.