A Message to Disaffected Bernie Supporters

For the disaffected Bernie supporters who say Hillary Clinton stole the nomination, I say “I cannot disagree.”

For those who say, it doesn’t matter which party wins the presidential election, I say, “You are tragically misinformed.”

For one thing, there’s the Supreme Court. For another, there is international funding for family planning, which is automatically cut off when a Republican becomes president. It’s not up to me to list the devastating consequences of a Trump presidency, but believe me, it will take decades to scrape the shit off our shoes.

But I do have a suggestion for disaffected Bernie supporters who have seen with their own eyes the loathsome corruption of the Democratic Party: join the Republican Party!

Right now the Republican senators and congressmen who we might expect to act responsibly are afraid of a primary challenge from the right. What if they were afraid of a primary challenge from the left?

I’m going to do this myself, and I think it’s going to be immensely entertaining. Can’t you see the bumper stickers if hordes of Bernie supporters joined the Republican Party? ‘Republicans for Reproductive Rights,’ ‘Republicans for Immigration Reform.’ ‘Republicans for Background Checks,’ Republicans Against Fracking’


This could be a huge amount of fun for everyone. I confess one reason I suggest this is that Abraham Lincoln has been bugging me for years to restore his party to the principles he espoused. So when you go join your town’s Republican Committee, take a lot of Lincoln quotations with you.


Just don’t vote for Donald Trump. That’s something you’d regret for the rest of your life.